Jack Black as Jesus in Prop 8 The Musical

Spot your favorite Hollywood star!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

link http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c0cf508ff8/prop-8-the-musical-starring-jack-black-john-c-reilly-and-many-more-from-fod-team-jack-black-craig-robinson-john-c-reilly-and-rashida-jones

check out www.funnyordie.com

Pictures from My Summer So Far

So here's a photographic update of my summer in Moab. For more pics get a dang facebook account (eh hem Mars hint hint nudge nudge).

The Nuptials

So, My little brother got hitched this weekend. Besides the paralyzing heat of the outdoor ceremony at 1pm on July 26th I actually had a good time. Everything was beautiful and the groomsmen (at least the ones I'm not related to) made for great eye candy. And the DJ totally looked like Patrick Fugit.

Spunky Old Broads

Some of you may know about my passion for The Golden Girls and how I can't wait to be a spunky old lady like Sophia and wear crazy hats well, this video is one more reason to be excited to be old.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LNv_wh8TwY

For whatever reason embedded video is not working for me right now but here's the link.

More AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

I thank Linden for bringing this to my attention and now I pass it on to you. Again too much anger for full blog I'll just say; Right On Sister!

I Farted, But You Stink: John Sellers Decides Who's Sexy
Ladies of the world: stop your farting. Also, stop burping, spitting, sweating, and digesting food. Details writer John Sellers has spoken, and it’s bad news: we are not getting him off.
I know! I know! Everything that I do is intended to give John Sellers – and, by extension, all men – raging boners. I think of him all day long, from selecting my outfit in the morning until the moment that I slip between the covers to dream of his sweet, manly embrace. I imagine that it’s much the same for you. He is Details writer John Sellers, for God’s sake. The female half of the world hangs on his every byline.
Yet, in his recent piece, “The Hollywood Gross-Out Girls,” it’s clear that we have failed him greatly. It’s ostensibly about women who make fart jokes (or burp jokes, or poop jokes, etc.) and how horrible they are. (I know, right? Having a functional set of organs is totally grody. It’s even worse when women aren’t ashamed of their own bodies! Yuck.) Yet its underlying theme is far simpler: J.S. wants women – all women – to know that their purpose in life is to turn him on.
“It would be one thing if these female Shreks were cut from the same cloth as Roseanne Barr or Rosie O’Donnell,” he writes. “But the trouble is they’re all smoking hot. It’s their job to primp and preen and push stuff up to look sexy.”
That’s right: their JOB! Take a look at the offenders that he lists in his article: Cameron Diaz (burped on TV), Sarah Silverman (makes poop jokes), Avril Lavigne (spit in public). You might look at this list and think actress, comedian, musician. You would be wrong. No matter what these ladies do to earn a living, they share the same occupation: provider of masturbatory fantasies to John Sellers. And they are failing.
So, what does this gentleman find sexy? It’s clearly not fat chicks! Or Cameron Diaz! So, what is it? Tell us, John!
Most guys would agree that it’s kind of hot when women aren’t too girly. Far from being rendered intolerable by a few tomboyish traits, a woman who wants to go to a baseball game with you or skips a glass of rosé in favor of a few Buds at your favorite dive bar is a turn-on.
Got that, ladies? When you sacrifice your own interests so that you can do whatever your boyfriend wants, it’s TOTALLY HOT! Who wants a girl with her own hobbies, or – God forbid – her own favorite drink?
And lots of guys find a girl dressed in a hoodie, T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers to be sexy.
OH THANK GOD. It’s okay to wear pants sometimes, because they give dudes hard-ons! Before this article clued me in, my entire wardrobe consisted of sparkly thongs and high-heeled platforms. Let me tell you: the winters were tough.
Yet, although John has generously allowed us to wear clothing and drink beer, we’ll never be able to match the glory of real live dudes. Farting? Spitting? Running for President? Dudes have it all covered.
If we want to hang out with someone who behaves like a man, we’ll hang out with, you know, an actual man.
Of course. So, John: I know it’s cute when girls wear sneakers and know how baseball works – it’s like dogs wearing people clothes! – and gross when we act like “men” by, like, having autonomy and not tailoring our every gesture to please the dudes. But can you give us an example? Is there, perhaps, an actress on whom we could model ourselves?
See Natalie Portman, who rapped and swore mannishly (and hilariously) in a much-YouTubed Saturday Night Live sketch but has preserved her schoolgirlish appeal.
Oh, thanks John! That’s…. wait. WHAT? “Schoolgirlish appeal?” Oh my sweet Jesus, he likes women who act like little… EW.
EW. EW. EW.
Wait. Hold on. Let me collect myself.
OH NO OH GOD I CAN’T EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I don’t have to explain why this is bad, do I? Everyone knows that it’s not OK to excoriate women publicly for not being “sexy,” because that’s based on the assumption that women exist to service men sexually, and that their worth is determined by men’s desire or lack of desire for said service. You go to college. You get it. So I’ll put aside the social critique, and say, simply, this:
I don’t normally laugh at fart jokes. But, for some reason, the idea of Cameron Diaz pinning this man down and farting on his face until he cries… well, that’s hilarious.

What a dumbshit this jackass is!! Here's one of my favorite quote's from his article

Actress Eva Mendes, reminiscing once about a 2005 trip to Nepal during which she shared a hotel room with Cameron Diaz, ruined what could have been the greatest male fantasy since Denise Richards and Neve Campbell got it on in Wild Things by revealing that "Cameron is a big old belcher, but I can't belch." She added, "One night I had a heavy dinner, so I combated her belching with something I could do. We were in side-by-side beds—her disgusting bodily function versus mine. It was an Eva-Cameron fart-belch-off!"

This of course comes after her starts the article with

There's a moment in nearly every decent episode of The Simpsons when Homer and his alcoholic pal Barney are sitting around Moe's Tavern and the latter lets out a belch so powerful that the wind causes his lips to flap like two pieces of raw bacon draped over a Vornado. This is funny for two reasons: (1) Someone is unleashing a monster burp on national television and (2) that someone is a man.

Sure do wish I knew more charmers like this guy!

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just finished watching This Divided State (for the second time). Unfortunately, I am so filled with rage right now that I cannot form complete sentences. I will just say I hope you see it, because it addresses important issues, and when I can string more words together expect a lengthy rant.

My List

And the top ten are...

(in no particular order)

Edward Norton, Adam Brody, Michael Rosenbaum, Jack White, Demetri Martin, Anderson Cooper, Jim Sturgess, Michael Cera, John Cusack, and Christian Bale

And now that he's finally legal I can add Shia LaBeouf

Something I need to Say

To Whom It May Concern:
Next time you get drunk and want to call someone and tell them you love them try your mom.
Sincerely,
A Girl With A Heart Condition

Pills, by The Perishers featuring Sarah McLachlan

I am in love with this song and The Perishers. And then I found them doing it with THE Sarah McLachlan. It is so freakin A-MAZING!

I hope my smile can distract you. I hope my fists can fight for two. So it never has to show. And you’ll never know. I hope my love can blind you. I hope my arms can bind you. So you’ll never have to see. What we’ve grown to be. One may think we’re alright. But we need pills to sleep at night. We need lies to make it through the day. We’re not ok. One may think we’re doing fine. But if I had to lay it on the line. We’re losing ground with every passing day. We’re not ok. But that’s one thing I would never, One thing I would never, That’s one thing I would never say to you.

Bicycle Bicycle Bicycle I Want to Ride My Bicycle Bicycle Bicycle

The Mariokart has finally given up the ghost and I have replaced it with a sweet new bicycle with a totally cool basket. I don't know how to post pictures or I'd post one for you (Lola, help?). I am really shocked by how much I love riding my bike. We all know I am not one of the most physically conditioned people around, but I am already getting better. I have ridden 2-4 miles every day since I purchased it on Friday, and i am really loving it. I am starting to understand all those exercise endorphines that everyone talks about. I figured having to ride it to work where I wait tables for 8-12 hours a day and then riding home I would be beat, but I must admit I feel awesome. I am all high on life. I also get the added satisfaction of knowing I am sticking it to the oil tycoons and doing Mother Nature a solid.

PS Moab is awesome. You should all come visit me.

Just to Reach You

So, I have had a really funky day today. Spring isn't that great of a time for me. I have a lot of tough anniversaries coming up over the next couple months starting with one yesterday, and I'm kind of at a loss for how to deal right now and I don't know really how to put words to what I'm feeling so, I'll let Melissa do it for me.

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give
Or how much I can take
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
Keeping my eyes open
I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises
I know that I can't keep
Nothing fills the blackness
That has seeped into my chest
I need you in my blood
I am forsaking all the rest
Just to reach youJust to reach you
Oh to reach you
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
I don't care what they think
I don't care what they say
What do they know about this
love anywayCome to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

Conquering Abbey's Country

Well folks, great excitement in the world of Amanda Jean. Monday I got myself a job in Moab and as soon as I find a place to live I will be taking up permanent residence (as permanent as any residence could be for my little gypsie soul) in Moab, Utah. I just decided it was time to stop trying to make the most cerebral decision and just follow my heart, and as soon as I did things just started falling into place. I got a job on the spot at the first place I applied (I start Friday!) and from what I hear the tips are great (I can make a couple hundred bucks a night); I have a couple of leads on some reasonably priced (as far as Moab goes) places to stay; and I have a totally cool friend (and fellow TTW fan) to hang out with. As TTW's Rowandian son would say, God is sitting on my head.

Mind Readers

Dear Dixie Chicks,
Why are you reading my journal and writing a song about the thoughts of my soul?

The Long Way Around

My friends from high school

Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a [Mariokart] with [hot dog antenna]
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow
By taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you're sure of yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around
Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around

P.S. Thought of the Day- My car is older than my brother's fiancee'. It is 9 months away from antique status (the car not the fiancee'). Poor, age-ed Mariokart.

AWESOME

Simple things make me smile: http://www.henningscake.com/Mystical_Unicorn.jpg. Thank you, Lobsterita!

Shock me, Shock me, Chakras

This week I am working quite a few graveyard shifts, and so I will have lots of time for blogging. I figure this can give me an opportunity to explore some the heavier topics I have been contemplating recently. Reader Beware: The later it gets, the more existential I become.
One area I have been doing some research into is the Hindu Chakra system. Scoff, if you must, but for me, it seems to hold some truth. I guess what really attracts me to this philosophy is the way it explores the connections between the body, the mind and the spirit.
What really got me looking into all of this is my own search for reprieve from the physical pain I have been dealing with for many years. I have been working in the psychology field for a couple of years, and knew I had some emotional work to do as well. At work there was this woman, Pam Robinson, who was doing this "process" with the students at the center where I worked, and it was really helping them. I checked into it, and was processed for myself and I read her book. I really felt the process helped and so I started to do research (because I am a total information junkie, especially when it comes to psychology) and part of her work involves clearing charkras.
Each of the seven sacred chakra centers is connected to different body structures and organ systems as well as being tied into developmental stages and our hierarchy of needs. So, when we experience trauma or don't get our basic needs met the chakra connected with that developmental stage or need will become blocked. As a way to let us know that we have emotional work that needs to be addressed our body will alert us through physical pain or dis-ease in the associated physical structures of that chakra.
It is so easy for us to ignore emotional or psychological injuries that we have sustained, but when we continue to ignore them our bodies force us to acknowledge these problems by presenting them as physical ailments. We are not as likely to ignore bodily discomfort even though we will live with emotional discomfort for decades.
When I started to look up all of my physical complaits they were all tied into my first, or root chakra. The more I read about the root chakra, the more I see how unbalanced mine is. And what does it say is often the developmental period and need crisis tied to the root chakra- feeding problems from birth to 6 months.
I was born with a cleft lip and feeding was a real challenge for me during those first few months of life. For awhile my mother had to feed me with an eye dropper, and I am betting that didn't get me very full. Isn't it interesting how it all ties together?
The reason I am discussing this is not that I think that everyone should convert to Hinduism (is that even a religion you can convert to?), or that I think we should all give up doctors and sit around talking about our feelings. What I do think is that there is so much more out there we could learn from and explore. I also think maybe we could all benefit from looking a little deeper at what is true seat of our dis-ease.

Some links I likes:
http://www.sacredcenters.com/chakras.html
http://www.reiki-for-holistic-health.com/chakra-diagram.html
http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/chakras.htm
http://www.instituteofhealingarts.info/

The Power of the Mind

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=2752381
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=541777
Check out this story. Porter Ellett is from my hometown, and I was friends with his sister in high school. It is so amazing the things we can do when we set our minds to it and engage our hearts in the battle. It really makes me think. Here he is playing baseball and basketball with only one arm, and then there's me- I've got all the working appendages a girl could ask for, and what am I doing with them?