Jack Black as Jesus in Prop 8 The Musical

Spot your favorite Hollywood star!

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More AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

I thank Linden for bringing this to my attention and now I pass it on to you. Again too much anger for full blog I'll just say; Right On Sister!

I Farted, But You Stink: John Sellers Decides Who's Sexy
Ladies of the world: stop your farting. Also, stop burping, spitting, sweating, and digesting food. Details writer John Sellers has spoken, and it’s bad news: we are not getting him off.
I know! I know! Everything that I do is intended to give John Sellers – and, by extension, all men – raging boners. I think of him all day long, from selecting my outfit in the morning until the moment that I slip between the covers to dream of his sweet, manly embrace. I imagine that it’s much the same for you. He is Details writer John Sellers, for God’s sake. The female half of the world hangs on his every byline.
Yet, in his recent piece, “The Hollywood Gross-Out Girls,” it’s clear that we have failed him greatly. It’s ostensibly about women who make fart jokes (or burp jokes, or poop jokes, etc.) and how horrible they are. (I know, right? Having a functional set of organs is totally grody. It’s even worse when women aren’t ashamed of their own bodies! Yuck.) Yet its underlying theme is far simpler: J.S. wants women – all women – to know that their purpose in life is to turn him on.
“It would be one thing if these female Shreks were cut from the same cloth as Roseanne Barr or Rosie O’Donnell,” he writes. “But the trouble is they’re all smoking hot. It’s their job to primp and preen and push stuff up to look sexy.”
That’s right: their JOB! Take a look at the offenders that he lists in his article: Cameron Diaz (burped on TV), Sarah Silverman (makes poop jokes), Avril Lavigne (spit in public). You might look at this list and think actress, comedian, musician. You would be wrong. No matter what these ladies do to earn a living, they share the same occupation: provider of masturbatory fantasies to John Sellers. And they are failing.
So, what does this gentleman find sexy? It’s clearly not fat chicks! Or Cameron Diaz! So, what is it? Tell us, John!
Most guys would agree that it’s kind of hot when women aren’t too girly. Far from being rendered intolerable by a few tomboyish traits, a woman who wants to go to a baseball game with you or skips a glass of rosé in favor of a few Buds at your favorite dive bar is a turn-on.
Got that, ladies? When you sacrifice your own interests so that you can do whatever your boyfriend wants, it’s TOTALLY HOT! Who wants a girl with her own hobbies, or – God forbid – her own favorite drink?
And lots of guys find a girl dressed in a hoodie, T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers to be sexy.
OH THANK GOD. It’s okay to wear pants sometimes, because they give dudes hard-ons! Before this article clued me in, my entire wardrobe consisted of sparkly thongs and high-heeled platforms. Let me tell you: the winters were tough.
Yet, although John has generously allowed us to wear clothing and drink beer, we’ll never be able to match the glory of real live dudes. Farting? Spitting? Running for President? Dudes have it all covered.
If we want to hang out with someone who behaves like a man, we’ll hang out with, you know, an actual man.
Of course. So, John: I know it’s cute when girls wear sneakers and know how baseball works – it’s like dogs wearing people clothes! – and gross when we act like “men” by, like, having autonomy and not tailoring our every gesture to please the dudes. But can you give us an example? Is there, perhaps, an actress on whom we could model ourselves?
See Natalie Portman, who rapped and swore mannishly (and hilariously) in a much-YouTubed Saturday Night Live sketch but has preserved her schoolgirlish appeal.
Oh, thanks John! That’s…. wait. WHAT? “Schoolgirlish appeal?” Oh my sweet Jesus, he likes women who act like little… EW.
EW. EW. EW.
Wait. Hold on. Let me collect myself.
OH NO OH GOD I CAN’T EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I don’t have to explain why this is bad, do I? Everyone knows that it’s not OK to excoriate women publicly for not being “sexy,” because that’s based on the assumption that women exist to service men sexually, and that their worth is determined by men’s desire or lack of desire for said service. You go to college. You get it. So I’ll put aside the social critique, and say, simply, this:
I don’t normally laugh at fart jokes. But, for some reason, the idea of Cameron Diaz pinning this man down and farting on his face until he cries… well, that’s hilarious.

What a dumbshit this jackass is!! Here's one of my favorite quote's from his article

Actress Eva Mendes, reminiscing once about a 2005 trip to Nepal during which she shared a hotel room with Cameron Diaz, ruined what could have been the greatest male fantasy since Denise Richards and Neve Campbell got it on in Wild Things by revealing that "Cameron is a big old belcher, but I can't belch." She added, "One night I had a heavy dinner, so I combated her belching with something I could do. We were in side-by-side beds—her disgusting bodily function versus mine. It was an Eva-Cameron fart-belch-off!"

This of course comes after her starts the article with

There's a moment in nearly every decent episode of The Simpsons when Homer and his alcoholic pal Barney are sitting around Moe's Tavern and the latter lets out a belch so powerful that the wind causes his lips to flap like two pieces of raw bacon draped over a Vornado. This is funny for two reasons: (1) Someone is unleashing a monster burp on national television and (2) that someone is a man.

Sure do wish I knew more charmers like this guy!

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just finished watching This Divided State (for the second time). Unfortunately, I am so filled with rage right now that I cannot form complete sentences. I will just say I hope you see it, because it addresses important issues, and when I can string more words together expect a lengthy rant.

Mind Readers

Dear Dixie Chicks,
Why are you reading my journal and writing a song about the thoughts of my soul?

The Long Way Around

My friends from high school

Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a [Mariokart] with [hot dog antenna]
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow
By taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you're sure of yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around
Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around

P.S. Thought of the Day- My car is older than my brother's fiancee'. It is 9 months away from antique status (the car not the fiancee'). Poor, age-ed Mariokart.

Shock me, Shock me, Chakras

This week I am working quite a few graveyard shifts, and so I will have lots of time for blogging. I figure this can give me an opportunity to explore some the heavier topics I have been contemplating recently. Reader Beware: The later it gets, the more existential I become.
One area I have been doing some research into is the Hindu Chakra system. Scoff, if you must, but for me, it seems to hold some truth. I guess what really attracts me to this philosophy is the way it explores the connections between the body, the mind and the spirit.
What really got me looking into all of this is my own search for reprieve from the physical pain I have been dealing with for many years. I have been working in the psychology field for a couple of years, and knew I had some emotional work to do as well. At work there was this woman, Pam Robinson, who was doing this "process" with the students at the center where I worked, and it was really helping them. I checked into it, and was processed for myself and I read her book. I really felt the process helped and so I started to do research (because I am a total information junkie, especially when it comes to psychology) and part of her work involves clearing charkras.
Each of the seven sacred chakra centers is connected to different body structures and organ systems as well as being tied into developmental stages and our hierarchy of needs. So, when we experience trauma or don't get our basic needs met the chakra connected with that developmental stage or need will become blocked. As a way to let us know that we have emotional work that needs to be addressed our body will alert us through physical pain or dis-ease in the associated physical structures of that chakra.
It is so easy for us to ignore emotional or psychological injuries that we have sustained, but when we continue to ignore them our bodies force us to acknowledge these problems by presenting them as physical ailments. We are not as likely to ignore bodily discomfort even though we will live with emotional discomfort for decades.
When I started to look up all of my physical complaits they were all tied into my first, or root chakra. The more I read about the root chakra, the more I see how unbalanced mine is. And what does it say is often the developmental period and need crisis tied to the root chakra- feeding problems from birth to 6 months.
I was born with a cleft lip and feeding was a real challenge for me during those first few months of life. For awhile my mother had to feed me with an eye dropper, and I am betting that didn't get me very full. Isn't it interesting how it all ties together?
The reason I am discussing this is not that I think that everyone should convert to Hinduism (is that even a religion you can convert to?), or that I think we should all give up doctors and sit around talking about our feelings. What I do think is that there is so much more out there we could learn from and explore. I also think maybe we could all benefit from looking a little deeper at what is true seat of our dis-ease.

Some links I likes:
http://www.sacredcenters.com/chakras.html
http://www.reiki-for-holistic-health.com/chakra-diagram.html
http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/chakras.htm
http://www.instituteofhealingarts.info/